Girl, Maladroit yet Entrancing

Whenever it comes to matters of the heart, I know for a fact that I suck. I don't know when I'm being given a signal or when I'm being too forward. This can make for some potentially mortifying moments. Please thank God (or whom ever it is you worship) that you are not me. What an awkward girl I am!! I don't know what to do around straight boys. I don't know the first thing about attracting straight boys. For this I have to blame the gays. You all have given me false confidence. I'm serious. I cannot function properly with anyone who exist outside the realms of musical theatre or who does not like a little extra sparkle. This is quite detrimental to my on going search for "someone to love me." (that was for you, dani)

I think I am attractive enough physically to be appealing and I know that I'm a pretty good person. I'm smart, funny and dare i say charming.
So here lies my conundrum: How does a girl who has some really good things going for her manage to remain single and perpetually dateless??


Shit if I know. This has been the story of my life since I was in the sixth grade. True story: I haven't had a boyfriend since the sixth grade. Now, I do realize that I have had numerous encounters with the opposite sex. Hooking up never really leads to anything. Which brings me to this boy. I really like him which means that I can't hook up with him because that would ruin everything. He is the relationship boy. He's really sweet and smart and damn good looking. Pardon me while I gush. MMM the perfect package. I think I'm potentially on the right track with him for now, at least. Things are going really slowly so I have time to think about what I'm doing and more time to get to know him. I try not to be awkward around him but if you know me then you also know that this is impossible. It's all part of my natural charm and the mystery that surrounds me. Haha, right. I just need to not end up in friend zone with him because that would kill me. I just don't know. I made the first move by giving him my number. The ball is now in his possession, so he has to make the next play. Until then I can have fun attempting to play the field and meeting other boys. I like my awkward and I think they might too.

...and the music played on.