The Beating Heart

I FIGURED IT OUT!!!


I'm Casi, I like musical theatre, I have a weakness for musicians, I tend to have awkward idiosyncrasies, and I'm a PEOPLE PLEASER!!!!
Being a people pleaser isn't a bad thing, but it has crippled me from being able to actually let myself live. I like being every one's "go to girl" and i need to be every one's friend. Has anyone else every noticed this about me.
I think that I'm so afraid of getting hurt and having my heart bruised, that I put other people's feelings before my own. I've seen how badly people can hurt others and i don't ever want to experience that, so I strive to keep everyone happy and stay on their good side.
Wow, this is great. I'm at the heart of the problem.
I've always been the type of person that goes with the flow of things. The flow has never been anything that I have started on my own. Someone else always starts it. I need to start it for once. I need to not only feel indifferent about things. I need to stop lying to myself and others by saying that everything things is ok, when clearly it is not.
I won't be rude to you, but I will start saying no. Don't take this personal I just need to stop existing and start LIVING. It's my right. MINE.
Good call Casi, good call!
...and the music played on.