The Breakdown

I can't sleep. I cried for about 30 minutes before deciding to blog.
I don't really know what it is about you.
I think about you all the time.
I give you up and then I fall harder.
Please explain to me how this could happen.
Why do I fucking produce tears over you?
You're really not that great actually.
You're mostly a jerk and you can be a genuine asshole.
I know these things.
I believe these things.
What the fuck is wrong with me??
I really love how you make me turn on myself.
I really fucking love how you make me hate myself.
It hurts.
I'm hurting.
You make me hurt.
I've never felt more lonely than I do right now.
This needs to stop.
I've pin-pointed more flaws in me than positives.
I still can't hate you.
I just can't.

...and the music played on.